My rules when eating before bed:

Have I brushed my teeth?
Yes --> Don't eat.
No --> Maybe eat.

If I haven't brushed my teeth, if I DO, will it leave a weird minty-food taste?
Yes --> DO NOT EAT.
No --> Eat.

If I haven't brushed my teeth, and I fall asleep before I can, will I wake up with even-worse-than-usual fuzzy gross-tasting mouth?
Yes --> DO NOT EAT.
No --> Eat.

If I eat/drink it, will it keep me awake?
Yes --> ...MIGHT have it and just try (and fail) to go to sleep anyways.
No --> Eat it.

Am I eating it because I'm really hungry or just because I like it/it sounds good?
Hungry --> Eat it.
Like it/sounds good --> Don't eat it. Just have some water and go to bed.

If I eat/drink too much, will I have to go onesie or twosie in the middle of the night?
Yes --> TOO LAZY. Don't eat.
No --> Eat.

Will it give me strange dreams (whether supposedly or has in the past)?
Yes --> F it. Eat it anyways. Sleep will be interesting.
No --> Eat it.